Reflection on MY NAME IS RACHEL CORRIE

I went to this play about a month ago now, with my friend Kat, at the Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga Canyon. It was a one woman show called My Name is Rachel Corrie, played by Samara Frame. The LA Times reviewed it here.

I have less praise for Miss Frame, mostly because she is too old to play the 23 year old Rachel. Frame does have a lot of energy though, and she deserves credit there. But the pace of her speech is awfully fast and I had a hard time understanding the words, and I have read the play before.

I discovered it in college and was mesmerized. The play came to life on the page, although the staged version was much less transporting. I was much more moved by reading it rather than seeing it - a fault of the performance and directing I think. The stage was outdoors and had a background of the hillside and rocks, which served the story well and Miss Frame used the space and brought it to life.

As the audience filed into the benches and cuddled up with sweaters and blankets, Frame was already placed on the stage, hidden underneath a sleeping bag in a nighty and socks. The way the play begins, which is with an outburst, describing her room and scarlet red ceiling, lends to a physical outburst as well. It would have served Frame to be able to be off stage, doing one hundred jumping jacks instead of still and lying down. From there, she has to scrounge up the energy of a young woman and carry herself for an hour and a half leaping and projecting in the cold.

The video projections were a distraction to the story, minus the final projection of Rachel Corrie herself as a motivational speaker in the 5th grade. The LA Times agrees, saying the videos are "rudimentary."

There was a talk back after the applause, which was "mild" said the director and lead founder and financier, Emma Greer. I didn't find it mild in the least, with stories about being an Israeli soldier, and a woman who lost her whole family in Palestine, and many more war recounts. The tension was tight with comments from both sides. With the content of the play leaning towards the defenseless Palestinians and the bullies from Israel, the discussion echoed the same but with personal recounts. After all the play was a one woman show, edited together from a young girl's writings about her own individual experience.

Something that has stuck with me over the past month is the idea of self. Rachel Corrie felt the need to FIND herself, and so she chose to move to Palestine and stay in Gaza to help families preserve their homes from bulldozers. So much of her speeches are filled with questions of "Who am I? What is my purpose?"

I don't think I ever had that dilemma. I always felt myself to be very close, if not embodied. Rachel Corrie kept talking about herself as she were another, or as if she was something she had to go find and encounter. Instead I was always, and still am, trying to figure out what I will do. I associated myself with actions instead of philosophical musings. I wonder on a daily basis what the next step will be to feel accomplished and satisfied with my progress in aspects such as my career, self-worth, emotional advancement, and evolving knowledge. I can't remember a time when I was stuck inside myself, searching for who I was. It has always been "Where will I go? What am I doing today? Who will I meet to help me be more established?"

It's a slow process and frustrating. I feel I am on the verge of something lately. Something feels it's going to snap. But thank goodness I know who I am and what I am capable of. It must be scary to feel far away from who you are.